Starlight

Following the star embedded in my heart.

Guns and Grunge: T-ara’s “Cry Cry”

When I first heard of T-ara, my first impression of them was mediocre because they epitomised what the modern, 21st century Korean girl should be: skinny, white, circle lenses, cute, whimsical, feminine and submissive. I think they go beyond SNSD in visual perfection, each of them are SO doll-like. To this day I can only differentiate Jiyeon, Hyomin and Eunjung in T-ara mainly because the media promotes them the most. Sometimes I wonder what Korea must’ve gone through whilst I was away so my fellow homies end up being clones.

 

Anyway, prior their newest song “Cry Cry”, the only memorable T-ara songs were “Bo Beep Bo Beep” and the 2011 summer craze that was “Roly-Poly”. Both songs were more popular domestically than internationally, which is why I skimmed their music with a nonchalant ear. I never appreciated their diverse adaptability with concepts: Indians to catsuits. And now they have arguably the most classic concept ever: old school gangster Korean. T-ara, ironically THE K-pop girl group who I still think is too ulzzang and indecipherable in physique, released the MV that would make me so reflective and attached. 


It’s a 15-minute epic music video in the form of a drama. There is a real storyline and real actors feature here. And it’s ONLY part ONE. Ahhhhhh


I like “Cry Cry”….it’s so….Korean. Many here may disagree given the demographics of the potential readers here (non-Koreans or 1.5 generation Koreans) because it’s not your typical pretty boy-meets-girl sweet yearning or fierce rapping with rainbows we are so saturated with thesedays. The perception of modern Korean culture, especially pop culture, has changed so dramatically in the last ten years. It’s funny how many Youtube comments find the MV intense, and yes, it may be rather intense for a K-pop girl group, yet to me it’s just a very typical Korean old-school gangster story.

 

The dramatisation and concept doesn’t meet the expected ideals of the international audience. On the contrary it blends perfectly with what T-ara’s domestic Korean audience wants. If you know me personally, you’ll quickly realise I don’t watch or like many Korean dramas. A lot of it has to do with how old-school Korean dramas featuring gangs and vengeance are becoming less and less frequent, which may possibly be because the Korean entertainment industry seems to be shifting towards more Hallyu style dramas. Hot, feminine, rich boys all wanting one pretty girl. Cue cute flirting and aegyo. Romantic escape to a foreign island. No more, no less. Boys over Flowers, Secret Garden, You’re Beautiful, Heartstrings…..Why are you not challenging my moral reasoning or cultural awareness?! 

 

The only exceptions where I become enthusiastic about Korean dramas happen when they are set in 20th century Korea. Since I was young, I have always preferred Korean art, history, films, books and dramas with a 20th century setting. Unfortunately the international internet generation does not appreciate my preferences, which may explain why the Hallyu hits do not necessarily correspond with national hits, where a larger age demographic is considered. This MV follows the latter and because I am enjoying this so much, maybe underneath it all I am Korean after all. Part of the Korean audience anyway. Sharing the same cultural food for thought (kimchi?! Haha).

 

All the elements of what I think makes a good Korean drama is in here: old school, gambling, blood, guns, revenge, family ties, shady narrow streets, ramen…..this is what dramatisation of realistic Korea is like. Not every boy is prettier than all the girls in your neighbourhood. I admit not every artistic element has been perfectly executed, but it is a solid effort. Yet it has modern touches, especially when you fit in the (somewhat) Engrish lyrics, tongue poking and the subway sequence. The Korean lyrics itself reflects on a lot of old school, nostalgic, smoky imagery my parents muse about sometimes. I like that because it brings in a part of my family’s history and culture I never got the chance to grow up in, and may never experience now. The timelessness of the MV reminds me of what my parent’s generation went through and how this is so different to my generation. In some parts of Korea life is still like this. 

 

A few days after the MV released, the mini-album was released. I seized this opportunity to hear the actual song in its entirety. Upon the hearing, I had an epiphany of what the MV should’ve been: old-school Korea, in either the town hall or a church, where a gang stops a wedding by assassination. It was supposed to be a very satisfying revenge by shattering their wedding; however it only ends up being tragic for everybody. It will be a turning point, where the guests discover the dark past behind the groom or father-in-law. Otherwise it can be a group of anti-democracy protesters shooting down an important political wedding. Or the wedding can be ruined because of jealousy and revenge in a love triangle. Maybe “the other woman” will kill the groom! Whatever happens, I see a wedding tragedy. What do you see?

 

There is definitely a bitter wallowing here which again reverts me to my roots. Even though I am very experimental culturally today, I like how this MV reminds me of what classic Korean culture is about. I’m talking about pre-Hallyu wave, before the K-pop idols, ulzzangs and circle lenses. And it’s beneath the grunge and guns….it’s the stubborn determination seen through her declaration for capturing her father’s killer, hiding the truth of the double-edged sword, seeking revenge after ten years. The lyrics only support this mindset further: “ 마치 문신처럼 지우려 할수록 깊게 패여/You’re like a tattoo, the more I try to erase you, you only etch yourself deeper” and “ 마치 감옥처럼 니안에 가둬버렸나봐/ It’s as if you hold me as a prisoner in your heart”. Both the MV and song lyrics resonate the tenacity from 1970s Korea that eventually led to its economic success. It’s an old friend who shares a deep friendship with my parents’ generation.

 

Through “Cry Cry” I can meet this old friend again. It reminds me why I’m here and who I could have and perhaps should have been. Realising my evolution from this “model” of myself, I evaluate and re-evolve. It’s hard to explain…but it’s like I can regain my strength and mindset. Become detached yet inspired from the disillusionment of the modern Western world. 

 

It’s interesting how T-ara focused primarily on the Korean audience in contrast to SNSD/WG who considered their English-speaking fans for their comeback songs. Unfortunately I was hugely disappointed in SNSD’s “The Boys” and somewhat confused about WG’s “Be My Baby” despite loving the rest of their album.

 

No doubt “Cry Cry” was carefully planned - this MV is only supposed to stir up anticipation for their next MV featuring their true promotional song “Lovey-Dovey”. Hopefully their marketing strategy will prove fruitful against SNSD and WG.


Honestly though, the MV on its own isn’t GREAT in terms of plot alone but I think it’s a solid effort. The plot is very simplified and predictable, which they needed because the plot relies on minimal speech and “Cry Cry”. The cinematography (which the Brown Eyed Girls are champions of) is above average, and is relatively refreshing. Perhaps I would’ve liked to see riskier motifs and lighting effects. Maybe the sequel will do some justice.

  

And the song alone isn’t memorable either. In fact, it’s just a filler soundtrack appropriate for a drama like this. Musically there are some trot elements typical of retro Korean ballads. Consequently I don’t think the song itself has much originality, despite suggestions of uniqueness from a K-pop girl group. I guess adding dance sequences for an upbeat performance would be unusual though….

 

What I do like is how an idol group decided to revive elements of pre-Hallyu, contrasting with SNSD and WG’s American and global focus. It raises awareness of the true Korea that is now quickly becoming the forgotten Korea. Thanks T-ara, for reminding me what I truly love about Korean entertainment through an epic 15-minute music video.         

 

PS: I love Jiyeon’s hair and her grunge-masculine style. 도도하고 시크한 여자. It’s great. I wish I had the guts to live that look 24/7. Now I want to be a rebel with ill-fitting aviators and leather jackets, on the beach, 해운대 style, takes me back to the 80s when my (petite) mother used to drink expensive “European” coffee with my (tall) charismatic grandfather in one of the fancy Las Vegas style hotel resort cafes looking over 해운대….will I ever be able to do this? 언제 다시 돌아갈수있나….

 

PPS: Just found out the MV was shot in Busan, my hometown! No wonder the MV gave me a rough, rugged comfort. Yeah I would say it looks like Busan. Can’t say it’s shot in 해운대 for sure, maybe it’s 자갈치 시장? Or possibly somewhere more remote within the 경상남도 region?

ㅠㅠㅠㅠㅠ

My room and life is a bombsite right now, so many inner conflicts and distractions…..

Survival techniques.

littlekicks:

I find that the only way I can make sense of anything these days is by reading and rereading select chapters of “The Little Prince.”

A Henri Matisse painting. If I had to put a painting as a profile picture or passport photo I would choose this.

A Henri Matisse painting. If I had to put a painting as a profile picture or passport photo I would choose this.

English translation to ‘심장 찾기’/Heartsearching

So weird how I never put a translated version on here. Wrote and translated it on Sunday November 21, 2010. Original Korean version is here: http://missiri.tumblr.com/post/2153289060/heartsearching

It’s an unusual poem for me because the original version is actually in Korean so I had to try not to get lost in translation. I think it’s my first formal Korean poem? I write random Korean phrases every now and again (more now) but this is my actual first Korean poem. Yay. And knowing what a grammar and expression freak I am, I made sure the translation is as accurate as possible while maintaining the tone and voice as consistent as possible.

Now that I read it again on Saturday 17 September 2011, it makes me think about what I’ve been doing the past 10 months, the people I’ve met and the relationships I have, the people I love, please, hurt, ignore…..it makes me reflect on the value of life. Inside I ask if I died today, whether my heart has been beating for a life worth living and whether I have a heart underneath it all. Sometimes I don’t think I’m being genuine and that hurts me.

심장 찾기/Heartsearching (a translated poem)

My heart beats.



Who does your heart beat for? 

What does your heart beat for? 



Do you ever wonder?



두근두근#



The keyboard goes tap tap tap.



I skim 

over all the reasons

hearts ache.

Most are old

so I wonder how they lived through

the good times

the bad times.

How did you spend all those times?



Every day, every hour, every second,

the heart beats.

두근두근#

pumping blood through the veins.

그 뜨거운 피.##

For every breath taken

the heart responds.

Although the days pass

one by one,

and we breathe,

why

does the heart pump hot blood? Do you know?



Do you even care?



I want to know:

were they happy,

were they devastated,

are they happy now?

And did they find the purpose behind why their hearts pump hot blood?

As I look through all the names

one by one,

I wonder who they are.

(Unfortunately

these truths

will never be known

due to privacy issues.)



Perhaps you are lying down

stuck and waiting,

guilty of your fries

drenched in oil.

I know

your heart is heavy

with confessions,

you probably want to cry too.

I hope you have no regrets.



Now

your heart struggles,

forced to pump blood

as it murmurs,

slows,

on overdrive

until your blood goes cold.



Who does your heart beat for? 

What does your heart beat for? 



I’m watching you

as I listen to your heartbeat.









근.#



Who did your heart beat for?

What did your heart beat for?



My heart beats 

as I continue to search 

for my reasons.

For who does my heart beat,

what does my heart beat for.

I can’t answer my own questions right now,

but I’m getting there.



My heart is my lifeline.



My heart beats.

Life passes by 

in front of my eyes

but my beating heart has a purpose.

I am finding that purpose now



so one day

when I close my eyes

I will make sure

to save my heart’s purpose.



두근두근.#



The keyboard goes tap tap tap.



I skim again.



My heart beats.



NOTE:

# “두근두근”/”doo-geun doo-geun” is used to describe how the heart beats. I wasn’t happy with how English describes it (pitter-patter) so I used the Korean because it is more realistic with a strong, steady rhythm, which I think is important especially in poetry.

## “그 뜨거운 피” means “the/that hot blood”. In Korean, hot blood is used to describe something that is alive, vigorous, pumping. (I think youth can be described as hot in Korean.) But in English when you say “hot-blooded” it brings inappropriate connotations so I left it out for that particular phrase. But note that I continue the idea of hot blood in English throughout the poem…I left it in to make it easy for the reader (ie YOU!)

I had some trouble in placing you/they/we…I wanted to address ALL at once/have it ambiguous which is possible in Korean but not in English. But I think it’s more or less sorted now.

Listen to my heartbeat.

Words cannot describe how delicious this pecan pie is!!!!!!!! Pecan perfection <3

Words cannot describe how delicious this pecan pie is!!!!!!!! Pecan perfection <3

Photos

…..why are they showing up in the wrong orientation?!